Your essential manual: condom dos and don't for maximum pleasure
A User’s Guide:
The best way to protect yourself is by using latex condoms every time you have sex. Actually, the best way to protect yourself is by using condoms correctly – otherwise they’re not effective for contraception or protection. And a study in the journal Sexually Transmitted Diseases reads like a horror show: half of people visiting a Colorado STD clinic reported condom-use mishaps. We asked Dr David Fletcher, medical director of SafeWorks Illinois an occupational health services company, to give us a refresher course on safety. Here are the points.
Don’t flush!
Latex is a notorious drain clogger. Tie it in a knot (trust us on this one) and throw it in the trash instead. Do use a widely recognised brand. This is on the list of things (Valentine’s Day presents, toilet paper) that you shouldn’t buy at the discount store.
Don’t reuse.
We’re sorry we have to include this one, but apparently some things aren’t obvious. Do check the expiration date. Old condoms are more likely to break.
Don’t tear the packet in half, or go at it with your teeth.
Rip off the top of the packet, making sure not to damage the condom. Do get the kind with the reservoir tip. Or make one, by pinching the very end of the condom as you’re rolling it on, so that there’s a little extra space right at the tip. Otherwise, you run the risk of breakage.
Don’t get us started on people who start having sex, stop and put on a condom to finish.
If your bits are anywhere near her bits, let alone in them, you should be wearing a condom. You’re probably familiar with “preejaculate” (that spot on the front of your boxers when you’re really turned on). The longer you’re hard, the more pre-come you produce. Problem? For the purposes of disease prevention, a body fluid is a body fluid. And if you’re worried about pregnancy, pre-come contains sperm. And it just takes one, baby. Do wait until you’re ready for intercourse. You don’t want to be doing too much rubbing up against her while you’re wearing it – even the silkiest panties can snag and damage latex.
Don’t carry them around in your wallet.
You know how it gets all bent and worn and then your wife gets you a new one for Christmas? All that bending and wearing is really, really bad for condom integrity.Do use latex condoms and wateror silicone-based lube. No Vaseline, lotions, moisturisers, cooking oil, mineral oil and oilbased lube.
Don’t flip it.
Start unrolling it on a finger first. If you start putting it on backward, don’t flip it over and continue – toss it and grab another. If you put it on wrong, toss it out and grab another. Yes, even if it has spermicide on it. Do roll it all the way down. All the way down to the very base of your penis.
Don’t hang out too long after the party’s over.
Pull out right after you come. And when you pull out, hold the bottom. Uh oh! What do you do if the condom breaks? Get your post-orgasmic butts out of bed; the clock is ticking. “Sperm can be in the cervical mucus within minutes,” says Dr Katherine Forrest. Translation: your little guys are about to do the tango with her fertile egg. First option: hope she has contraceptive foam with the spermicide nonoxynol-9, so she can spray (while you pray). Or, failing that, a vinegar douche (one to two tablespoons of vinegar to one litre of warm water), which is acidic enough to kill sperm. Medicine cabinet empty? Forrest recommends that your partner take a morning-after pill within 72 hours.
