Pickup lines that work

One hundred women told us would work on them. Say the right words and reap the benefits

1. THE SEXY SECRETARY

“Your picture on the company website is disgusting.”

Marcia said: “That was the first thing my now-boyfriend said to me. He then immediately followed it up with ‘you’re a beautiful, sexy woman and it doesn’t do you justice’. The old ‘insult you then say a nice thing’ trick hardly ever fails. It’s surprising, it’s naughty and it implies he thinks you’re cool enough to be offended. Just don’t get the order the wrong way round, unless you’re after a slap.”

2. THE SEXY FRIEND

“I don’t want to sleep with you.”

Isobel said: “When it’s followed up with ‘I’d just like to hang out with you’, this works wonders. She’ll ask herself why you don’t want to sleep with her. All her insecurities run through her mind: is her bum too big? Her nose a little skew? Sure as can be, she will want to sleep with you just to prove to herself that she’s worth it.”

3. THE BLIND DATE

“I think you’re secretly a little mischievous.”

Katherine said: “You can’t go wrong with a good honest compliment. But never too superficial. Never talk about her figure, that’s slightly creepy. Face, clothes or hair is good. Or maybe a little curveball like ‘I think you’re secretly a little mischievous’ is unexpected, makes me feel special and has just the right element of ‘I think you would be great in bed’ in it.”

4. GIRL AT THE BAR

“If I followed you home, would you keep me?”

Lisa said: “Some slurring oaf with a half-eaten kebab for a shirt saying you’re the most beautiful girl he has ever laid eyes on just makes you feel depressed. Even though ‘If I followed you home, would you keep me?’ is a little cheesy, that kind of spontaneous sense of humour can be the biggest aphrodisiac for a lot of single woman. It shows he’s confident and not afraid of making a fool of himself.”

5. LONG-TERM GIRLFRIEND

“I can’t wait to get you home.”

Ella said: “Whispered in the ear, this has the effect of saying to her: ‘Do you know how hard I’m finding it to concentrate without thinking of you naked, or what underwear you are, or aren’t wearing.’ And that makes you feel like the sexiest creature alive, which is hot. Of course, it’s a risky tactic on the first date.”

How much are you getting?

How many times a year do you have sex? Here's how much the rest of world is doing it:

ROMANIA: 232
KOREA: 228
GREECE: 224
CZECH REPUBLIC: 222
PORTUGAL: 222
BRAZIL: 219
PHILIPPINES: 217
ITALY: 198
RUSSIA: 193
HUNGARY: 188
UNITED KINGDOM: 182
INDONESIA: 177
SOUTH AFRICA: 176
POLAND: 175
MEXICO: 174
NETHERLANDS: 168
UNITED STATES: 161
SPAIN: 159
GERMANY: 148

Ultimate seduction playlist

Play these albums and get down to some dirty dancing:

FIRST-TIME SEX

The scenario: This is finally happening!
Play: Your first-date soundtrack.
The reason: Familiarity is relaxing. In a study from Long Island Conservatory, participants who listened to familiar music that they enjoyed had lower anxiety levels and blood pressure than those who listened to music they didn’t like. “The emotional response triggers a profound physiological response,” says George Stefano, lead author of the study. “It’s a feel-good system that allows us to relax.”

QUICKIE SEX

The scenario: She’s purring and your favourite show is coming to a commercial break.
Play: Up-tempo indie rock like The Killers or Arctic Monkeys.
The reason: Press play to speed up her body’s physiological response. Italian researchers found subjects’ ventilation, heart rate and arousal levels increased when they were exposed to music with a quick tempo and simple rhythmic structure.
Bonus: you burn 146kJ in 20 minutes of sex.

EXPERIMENTAL SEX

The scenario: There’s a gleam in her eye - and cuffs in her room.
Play: Punk or hard rock like Green Day or The New Pornographers.
The reason: In a study of varsity students, those looking for physical stimulation and an adrenaline high listened to more punk and hard metal. “People who are sexually promiscuous are more likely to engage in sensation seeking,” says Dr Rob Weisskirchm, an associate professor of human development at California State University.

CASUAL SEX

The scenario: You’ve known her for two beers and the drive home.
Play: Suggestive hip hop and pop like the Black Eyed Peas or Outkast.
The reason: In one study, women who listened to sexually provocative lyrics placed an emphasis on the sex appeal of potential partners. “They had been ‘primed’ to think about sexuality and were more likely to view everything from that perspective,” says Dr Silvia Knobloch-Westerwick, the lead researcher.