Making a move on a good friend requires more careful work than defusing a pipe bomb. One false move and, well, you know. Avoid devastation and fallout with these four expert-approved strategies.
SET THE SCENE
Choose a place that’s comfortable for both of you, says Logan Levkoff, a columnist and sex educator. And don’t make a big production out of it. “A lot of guys try to take cues from sappy movies where friends become something more,” says Levkoff. “Don’t stand outside her window with a boom box over your head.”
READ HER BODY
Talk less, do more. “Kiss her,” says Levkoff. “Sometimes it’s easier to break down the barrier physically instead of verbally.” But how do you know to go for it? “If her face is close enough that you can lean in, then that’s a good sign,” she says.
LEAVE YOUR GAME AT THE DOOR
She knows about every girl you’ve dated and every pickup line you’ve ever used, so no fancy come-ons, Levkoff advises. Look her in the eyes and say, “You know all about me and my past, and I don’t want the other girls I’ve dated. I want you.” Yes, it’s formal, but say it anyway. “It works because it shows her you’re sincere,” says Levkoff.
RETREAT
If it doesn’t work out, leave it be. “Eventually, your friendship can, and will, return to normal,” says Levkoff.
GET OVER YOUR EX
Strip clubs and friends are a good first line of defence, but as therapeutic as they are, you have to go back to that empty house sometime. Here’s how to face up to reality.
CLEAN UP YOUR ACT
“Treat a break-up as if you’re overcoming an addiction,” says Dr Helen Fisher, author of Why We Love. Banish evidence of your ex – cards, photos, that stupid bottle of bubble bath. They’re the equivalent of a bankie of weed in the cubbyhole, says Fisher.
STAY DRY FOR A WHILE
Take a 90-day hiatus from new relationships. Enjoy your unencumbered life. “If you’ve always wanted to go to South America or take sailing lessons, now’s your time,” says Fisher. Before you know it, you’ll be ready to dash yourself on the jagged rocks of love all over again.
