Words, wielded wisely, can be a powerful instrument of seduction. The key? Make it subtle. Consider the five make-or-break romantic situations below.
THE SITUATION
You’re asking her out for the first time.
DON’T SAY
“Want to go out to dinner on Friday night?”
TRY
“Want to go out for Thai food on Friday night?”
WHY IT WORKS
“You’re creating an experience she can visualise,” says Eve Marx, author of Flirtspeak. Unlike a blank proposal, it engages and puts her in the moment; she’ll see you two sharing Thai.
THE SITUATION
Your entrées have arrived; you’d like to offer her a piece of your meat.
DON’T SAY
“Want some fillet?”
TRY
“Want a taste of my fillet?”
WHY IT WORKS
“Taste” is sexy, says Marx. “She could be thinking how you might taste each other later.” Other triggers: “bite”, “juicy” and “tender”. And never offer her a spoonful of ice cream, only a lick.
THE SITUATION
You want her to go home with you.
DON’T SAY
“Let’s go back to my place.”
TRY
“Let’s go back to my place, because I have a great view.”
WHY IT WORKS
The magic word: “because”. “People comply 66 percent more often when they hear a phrase with ‘because’ in it,” says Kevin Hogan, author of Irresistible Attraction.
THE SITUATION
You want to move your make-out session to the bedroom.
DON’T SAY
“I really want to make love to you.”
TRY
“Can you imagine how great it’d feel if we made love?”
WHY IT WORKS
Reframing your desire as a question forces her to think about it, says Hogan. The sensory word “imagine” reinforces the visual picture. If what she sees doesn’t repulse her, you’re in.
THE SITUATION
It’s three months later and you want to add more spice to your sex life.
DON’T SAY
“Are you into bondage?”
TRY
“Could we try tying each other up?”
WHY IT WORKS
“Terms like ‘try’ and ‘maybe’ give the woman a chance to say yes without feeling pressured,” says communications professor at Texas Tech University, Dr Narissra Carter.
