The way to a woman’s bedroom is through her ears. That’s because for me and most women I know, chatting about relationships is as much fun as having them. But there are a few difficult conversations that men, try as they might, tend to screw up. That’s about to change. Here is your guide to the six trickiest relationship talks.THE BIRTH-CONTROL TALK
She asks
“Did you bring a condom?”
You answer
“Why don’t you go on the Pill?”
“Why don’t you go on the Pill?”
Why that’s a mistake
You think you’re being honest and direct. She thinks you’re being selfish, and isn’t that just typical. Anger ensues. Sex doesn’t.
You think you’re being honest and direct. She thinks you’re being selfish, and isn’t that just typical. Anger ensues. Sex doesn’t.
What to say instead
“Do you like how sex feels when I’m wearing a condom?” You do have a shot because most women prefer sex au naturel. Take her answer as a jumping off point to share your preferences. She’s not likely to say, “What a great idea. I’ll see my gynaecologist tomorrow.” So be willing to shelve this discussion for a few months – and to try various types of condoms – while she decides whether you’re Pill worthy.
THE ROOM-TO-BREATHE TALK
She says
“I need some space.”
“Do you like how sex feels when I’m wearing a condom?” You do have a shot because most women prefer sex au naturel. Take her answer as a jumping off point to share your preferences. She’s not likely to say, “What a great idea. I’ll see my gynaecologist tomorrow.” So be willing to shelve this discussion for a few months – and to try various types of condoms – while she decides whether you’re Pill worthy.
THE ROOM-TO-BREATHE TALK
She says
“I need some space.”
You answer
“Have a nice life.”
“Have a nice life.”
Why that’s a mistake
When a woman asks for space, she’s not dumping you. She just wants a few days to herself. Or... she’s testing you to see how invested you are in the relationship. If you bolt, you fail.
When a woman asks for space, she’s not dumping you. She just wants a few days to herself. Or... she’s testing you to see how invested you are in the relationship. If you bolt, you fail.
What to say instead
“Take as much space as you need.” Chances are she’ll clear her head, miss you, and end up calling within a week.
THE STI TALK
She asks
“How many women have you slept with?”
THE STI TALK
She asks
“How many women have you slept with?”
You answer
“Thirty-six.”
“Thirty-six.”
Why that’s a mistake
Uh, hello, she wasn’t really asking how many women you’ve slept with. She was asking if you’ve ever been tested for sexually transmitted infections.But now that you’ve answered truthfully, she’ll be sure to hold it against you.
Uh, hello, she wasn’t really asking how many women you’ve slept with. She was asking if you’ve ever been tested for sexually transmitted infections.But now that you’ve answered truthfully, she’ll be sure to hold it against you.
What to say instead
“I’m not really into keeping score but if you’re worried about STIs, I was tested last month” – or whatever the reality is – “and if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll see my doctor.” Then go. The more proactive you are, the more comfortable she’ll be and the better the sex will be.
