Summer sex tips

Sit back and learn all you need to know about scoring more summer sex.

1. Hammock lovin'

Swinging fun needn't necessarily involve the neighbours and a bowl of car keys. You have two options: have your good woman straddle you as you lie lengthways in the hammock, making sure she can touch the floor with her feet. Or use the hammock as a thrust booster - have her lie in it widthways while you stand and manoeuvre her back and forth. Raise the temperature Hangaboutz Hammocks has the widest range, from wooden stand hammocks to the good old rope ones (www.hangaboutz.co.za). All hammocks have been tested to hold over 650kg, and are hand-made by the local Zulu community.

2. Mile-high sex

Sex at 35 000 feet has always held an irresistible allure. But can we actually get away with some in-flight entertainment? According to a press officer for Virgin Atlantic, "Cabin crew deal with these situations sensitively. We like passengers to enjoy their flight. If this disturbs other passengers, however, action will be taken by the cabin crew. Passengers should be aware that by doing this they could be committing an offence for which they could be prosecuted." Austin Powers' memorable "if the jet starts a-rocking, don't come knocking" quip is unlikely to hold much sway. Raise the temperature Fly BA Business Class. The fully fl at beds allow you to get completely horizontal and the seats are arranged in pairs, so one person's head is at another's feet. Row 69 is ready for take-off!

3. Sunlounger sex

The key here is slatted sun-loungers. Stash pillows under the lounger and lie face down on it, with your member hanging free; then have her lie underneath (on top of the pillows) and take you in her mouth for the best sunbathing session of your life. Raise the temperature Drape towels over the sides of the lounger and this trick can be done in public. "Blind sex - when you can't see the other person - is very erotic," says Emily Dubberly. "And being outside provides an added dimension, making it a phenomenal experience for both of you."

4. Sunburnt sex

If your chest has developed a shade the wrong side of crimson, try sitting down with her on top so she can avoid touching you with her legs. If, on the other hand, your back is burnt, have her lie on the bed while you stand with her legs wrapped around you - this way she can't dig her nails into your back in even the most out-of-control throes of passion. Raise the temperature Cold, plain yoghurt is wonderfully cooling on mild sunburn and slathering it on each other will lead to some fun licking it off.

5. Keep your zip up

Georgetown, Guyana
If you're caught at it here you'll be coated in paint, then "attached to an ass and taken on a tour of the village", then told not to come back.

Riga, Latvia
Where you're guaranteed a silent night as it's illegal for couples to argue while having sex.

Lebanon
Here men are allowed to have sex with female animals, but having sex with a male animal is punishable by death. Tropea, Italy Only young women "capable of exalting the beauty of the female body" are allowed to sunbathe nude here.

Saudi Arabia
Here all sex is illegal for unmarried women.

While in Egypt, Vietnam, the Dominican Republic, Guatemala and Virginia, USA, the age of sexual consent for women is 18. In Madagascar it's 21.

Bahrain
Here male doctors may not look directly at a woman's genitals - he must use a mirror instead. India, Jamaica and Tanzania All these countries punish homosexuality with 10 to 25 years in prison, while in Saudi Arabia it, and adultery, carry the death penalty.

Wrong instincts

You want to follow you sexual instincts? Well, guess what, they’re all wrong.

THE STRIP TEASE
The instinct
To tear her clothes off with your teeth.

The better move
Coax her clothes off.
Some women feel uneasy if they're naked too soon. So pace yourself. Undo only her first two shirt buttons. Go beneath her clothes without removing them. Unzip her jeans. Run your fingers under her bra straps. You're trying to hint at what's going to follow once the clothes do come off. Aim for four minutes; anymore and she may think you don't want to see her naked.

THE SMOOTH MOVE
The instinct
To squeeze her breasts like a stress ball.

The better move
Lighten your touch - your job is to please her, not satisfy yourself with a fact-finding grope. A guy's 'average' touch is 20 percent more forceful than a woman's. Concentrate on areas of her upper body that don't get a lot of play, like her collarbone, the inside of her arms and the sides of her stomach.

THE THRUSTER
The instinct
She's going wild, so you want to go faster, deeper and harder.

The better move
Try slow, shallow thrusts instead. At the start, going slow and shallow will help the vaginal wall expand, allowing for deeper penetration. Don't think of intercourse as a race to the top; it's a measured, gradual climb.

Take her outdoor's

ON THE BEACH

You've both thought about it, so expectations are high. "Beaches connote both sex and romance," says Ellen Kate Friedrichs, of www.sexedvice.com. Bring up the idea early in a trip to heighten anticipation. And don't be impulsive - pick your spot carefully and bring a blanket. Wait until long after sunset, then get away from the ambient light of the boardwalk or pier. And stay clear of the dunes as you won't be able to hear an interloper until he or she is on top of you.

ON A CAMPING TRIP

Don't confine your primal urges to the tent (although a stealth shag in a campground with neighbours nearby is hot). On a hike, it's worth carrying the extra weight of blankets and a sleeping roll. Then get off the trail, find a sheltered spot and let it happen. In camp, you can turn your regular sleeping bags into a fun house for two - as long as one bag has a zip on the left and the other a zip on the right.

IN THE HOT TUB

It's simultaneously private and out in the open. And you can both be stark (or nearly) naked without feeling exposed, thanks to the churning water. Hot tubs are social, relaxing spaces, but they also represent sexiness. And she'll love those jets. We suggest a silicone-based lube for whatever you have in mind as her natural lubrication will wash away.

Build a human

If you want to get her pregnant, there's no time like the growing season. In a study, women who underwent in vitro fertilisation during the spring and summer months were twice as likely to fall pregnant as the autumn-and-winter group. The researchers believe that women in general may be more fertile in the summer because daylight suppresses production of melatonin, a hormone that can interfere with ovulation. Don't want a baby? You're a big boy now. March straight into that pharmacy and buy yourself a bumper pack of latex.

I got it for my mama

Gifts for your old lady

Women are tricky customers when it comes to the perfect Christmas present. And your mother – or worse, your mother-in-law – is no exception.

There’s a fine line between the message you give with a potpourri teabag for her cupboard and a stylish silk scarf. There’s also a big cost difference. You want something original that’s got the lasting factor once the wrapping’s been torn off – and the novelty’s gone – on Christmas day. Here are some ideas for differing tastes and price tags.

1. Green gifts
Without completely assuming that all mothers like to garden, most moms will appreciate something pretty and potted. Household herbs in little pots – like rosemary, parsley, basil and thyme – are a good choice. Flower seed packets are usually quite pretty and you can put a few together in a festive box. Choose according to the season. If she does have green fingers, think garden accessories too, like feminine gardening gloves or a gardening mat for her to kneel on while she weeds. You can work on a budget and all it takes is a trip to a nursery, so you’ll be avoiding the crowded malls.

2. Gold star gifts
At this time of year magazine subscription deals are everywhere. You can get your mom a subscription to her favourite glossy for a good deal, and probably score a free gift too. If she doesn’t have a preferred magazine, contact a local florist and find out whether they will arrange a contract with you to deliver flowers to your mom monthly or bimonthly. NetFlorist doesn’t just do flowers. You can sign up and specify what you want each month (nuts for March, tulips for May) and then pay in advance and forget about it. Both are gifts that will remind her every month when they arrive what a loving, thoughtful son you are. Can anyone say brownie points? www.netflorist.co.za

3. Gadget gifts
This category covers novelty gifts that she’ll use every day and that will, ideally, make her life easier. A good place to start is the kitchen. With the convenience of shopping online and free delivery, Yuppiechef has cool gadgets in a range of prices. Only got R100 to spend? Something like the Chef'n Fridge Fork for R69. It easily attaches to any size jar to take the hassle out of spearing pickles, olives, onions and other condiments from jars. www.yuppiechef.co.za

4. Goodwill gifts
Choose your mom’s favourite charity or a cause she cares about – like protecting and rehabilitating animals for example – and make a donation in her name. You could do something like adopting a penguin on www.sanccob.co.za. Depending on the cause, they’ll send her a letter of thanks or keep her updated on the charity.

5. Girlie gifts
While they fuss around everyone else, mothers generally put themselves last. A spa voucher is the gift answer. Most spas will have packages that will include a few things (like a manicure, pedicure and back massage). If you don’t want to choose a specific treatment or think she won’t appreciate the age-defying facial, just get a voucher for an amount and let her choose what she wants.

Picnic props

Make the most of lazy South African summer days. Here are the five must-haves for your summer picnic pack.

1. Multi-purpose knife
This is the moment to bring out your inner boy scout. Your set must have a sharp, functioning knife, corkscrew and bottle opener. Some of them come with all manner of utensils too. Avoid food that you need cutlery for and stick to finger snacks. Pocket knife R180. www.capeunionmart.co.za

2. The blanket
An essential at any picnic. Make sure it’s big enough for you and all the food. If all else fails, your sleeping bag is a good option as it’s soft with waterproofing on one side. Just make sure you’ve aired it since your last camping excursion, as it may be musty and unpleasant. Roll-up picnic mat R99. www.capeunionmart.co.za

3. Cutting board
You’re going to need something flat, whether it’s for cutting on, arranging food or simply resting your wine glass. Learn to build one yourself at www.doityourself.com

4. Plastic wine glasses
Nothing spoils the mood or cheapens the wine than having to drink out of an opaque tumbler that reminds you of a kiddies’ party. Glass is risky so get a good quality plastic wine-glass set. Wine glasses R12 each. www.wineglasses.co.za

5. Hand wipes
This is a must-have and will really score points with your lady. Not only are the wipes hygienic, but you can use them to wipe the knife before reusing it, mop plates and glasses before packing them away and clean your hands after the snacks. R6 from Clicks.

Listen, sexy

Beware of that sultry voice: a woman’s voice sounds sexier when she’s at her peak of fertility. When men listened to the voices of women at different points in their menstrual cycles, they rated the sound of women at peak fertility as most attractive. Hormones throughout the menstrual cycle change the quality of a woman’s voice, possibly by altering the pitch. Women are more receptive to sex at the same fertile point in their cycles. If she seems irresistible, make sure you have a condom. Or maybe it’s the perfect time for phone sex.