Get her to climax quickly

To get a new partner to climax quickly, you need to be able to find her clitoris. By far the easiest way to do this is to use her genital lips, or labia minora, as a guide. Follow them up from the bottom (closest to her backside) to where they come together towards the top (closest to her navel). Just beyond this point is a fleshy horizontal fold of skin. That’s the clitoral hood.

Put a finger above that and gently pull upwards, towards her belly, to expose a small fleshy knob between the lips. Bingo. That’s her clitoris. These little epicentres of pleasure come in all shapes and sizes. Some clitorises hide, others jump out. Some women have larger labia, while others have almost none. And some women have hefty clitoral hoods that need to be pulled back quite a bit to get to the love button. Rarely will the private parts of your sex interest look like porn-star pleasure boxes, especially since so many porn stars have had cosmetic surgery done to their genitals. So there’s simply no way you can know exactly where her clit is – or how to touch it – until you’ve done a little intrepid exploring.

Take a good look once you’ve found it. You’ll see it doesn’t look like a button, the way a nipple does. It’s the same colour as the inner, fleshy bits of her labia, which makes it a little tricky to see, but it does stand proud of the surrounding area when it’s fully aroused and engorged with blood. Courtesy of you, of course.

Embrace darkness

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Give her the eye

Confusing this, but not telling a woman she’s sexy turns her on more than doing so. That’s not an excuse to tell her that her arse does look a bit fat in that, but rather the fact that women are aroused if they are looked at lustily. A report suggested that women use more non-verbal cues during sex than men. So match her. Telling your girlfriend she looks sexy will turn her on, but the way you look at her is what will really get her going. Think about how sexy she looks when she’s giving you head, and the way you look at her. Then make sure you look at her the same way during sex. Or indeed, while doing the washing up.

Rub her down

When she asks you for a massage, she’s not asking for a 30-second neck rub before resuming normal servicing. She’s actually asking you to warm her up slowly. So know which spot to pick: The bottom of the spine is a highly neglected erogenous zone, and the small of the back is rich in nerve endings, as well as being home to various pressure points that increase blood flow to the pelvic region. The move that will encompass the lot: Lie her on her front and dribble massage oil down her spine and between the cheeks of her bottom. Use your thumbs to gently rub from her neck to the small of the back and all the way down to her vagina. Then enter her from behind so her back is still stimulated by your belly.

Do nothing

Biologically speaking, at the critical moment of orgasm, she’d rather that it was you lying back and thinking of England. According to studies there is a general orgasmic principle of building up excitation in which rhythmic stimulation is absolutely critical. Break that at any point and it’s game over. “Most women have been there: ‘It’s coming! It’s coming!’ And suddenly it’s not, because spurred on by her excitement you get overenthusiastic and switch position,” says Dr Yvonne K Fulbright, author of Touch Me There!: A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots. You should stop at the crucial moment – when she is on the brink – and let her use you as a ‘point of resistance’ to take herself over the edge. Think of yourself as both rock and a hard place: just don’t move.

On the lips

Lots of kissing reassures her that you’re not simply out for sex, says author of Touch Me There!, Yvonne Fulbright. Only one in seven women would consider sleeping with you without a kissing session first, reveals a study in Evolutionary Psychology. And two-thirds of women have ended a relationship based on the first kiss, possible because the man was a sloppy kisser. Trace her lips with your tongue, and alternate soft kisses with some gentle lip sucking.

The K-spot?

Experiments conducted by the authors of The Science of Orgasm discovered an orgasm-like response from the stimulation of a woman’s knee. A vibrator applied to this body-part caused an increase in muscle-tension leading towards the top of her legs, which resulted in climax. Exploit the orgasmic potential of running your hands up and down her legs before and during sex, paying particular attention to the area between the very top of her thighs and the crook of her knee.