Take her to new heights

Having sex at 30 000 feet is illegal. But if you can't resist joining the mile high club, your best time to try is either straight after take-off, or 15 minutes into the film - when the least passengers will be milling around. Get seats at the back and then have her head for the bathroom. Wait two minutes then follow her. "Once you are in, place her hands on the wall as if you are going to frisk her. Pull her hips back and enter her," says R Don Steele, author of Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship and Dating. To get away, you should feign illness, while she does sick-bag duty. Genius.

Elevate your sex drive

"People often make lift fantasies come true in hotels," says Patricia Love, author of Hot Monogamy. One of you needs to keep your thumb on the "doors close" button. Hit stop when you are between floors. You'll have about three minutes before people start prying. For a truly private session find a goods lift - they won't have a camera.

Float her boat

Grab your lilo and head for the sea. Aim for the sunset - not only is it romantic, but there will be fewer prying eyes on the shore. "You can play under the surface, which adds tension," says clinical sexologist Gloria Brame. Have her lie on her front across the middle of the lilo and take her from behind. Bring some silicone-based lube that won't wash off in your exploits.

Get more oral sex

If she doesn’t enjoy giving you oral sex, it is possibly because she dislikes the look and taste of semen or is afraid that your penis will stimulate her gag reflex, explains Dr David Delvin, sex therapist and author of "The Good Sex Guide."

Strategy
Pushing her head down during lovemaking isn’t going to solve the problem. Nor is making a big hoo-ha about the whole thing. Talk through any misconceptions she might have. Many women are unfamiliar with a man’s penis and its day-to-day rhythms; let her make friends with the big fella when he’s resting. Walk around naked or let her see you in the shower, not just when he wants to come out to play.

Reward
She won’t fall pregnant.

Special tip
If she does make the trip down under, make sure you reward her efforts with appreciative moans.

Her sex fantasies

It may be easy for you to come up with a different fantasy for every day of the week, but she may be having more difficulty stocking up her erotic library. Dr Andrew Stanway, clinician and author of "The Joy of Sexual Fantasy", says that many people – especially women – experience guilt about their sexual fantasies.

But that doesn’t mean they don’t have them; it just means that their imaginations sanitise and package them in a way that is more acceptable to them.

So what do high-guilt women fantasise about? Being dominated by a man who finds them irresistible, explains Stanway. Their fantasies tend to involve faceless lovers and are generally less vivid than women whose sex-guilt levels are lower.

Strategy
Let her read the sexual fantasies of other women. Try "What Turns Us On" by Iris and Steven Finz; "Women On Top by Nancy Friday" or "Sex Fantasies By Women For Women by" Lisa Sussman.

Reward
Fantasy is a great sex aid. Perhaps she imagines a good spanking or a threesome... whatever gets her going works towards her arousal during foreplay and penetration, explains Stanway.

Special tip
Nancy Friday, the author of a variety of books on fantasy – both male and female – advises against asking her directly whether she has fantasies, as all you’re likely to hear is “I don’t know” or “no”. Rather make a more general comment, such as: “Apparently women tend to fantasise that the men they’re having sex with are faceless.” Then ask whether she agrees with this. You’ve now opened up a discussion.

Help her love her body

“Tons of women have body-image issues,” says Dr Claire Rockliffe-Fidler, a psychosexual therapist in private practice in Cape Town. And the media is largely to blame. Check out any movie, magazine or newspaper: they’re dripping with drop-dead gorgeous women. We all know those pictures are the result of clever lighting, photo retouching and other tricks of the trade, but on a subliminal level many women feel they don’t match up. As a result, they feel inhibited to shed their clothes and abuse your body the way you like it.

Strategy
Make her feel good about herself so she’s able to relax into intimacy, says Rockliffe-Fidler. That’s not just about telling her she looks good. It’s also about showing her that you’re attracted to her (and not just during sex). Try a well-timed wolf whistle when she enters the room or maintain eye contact during a conversation while you smooth a strand of hair behind her ear.

Reward
If she’s comfortable in her skin, she won’t have to suck in her tummy when she’s on top or cringe when you do it doggie-style.

Special tip
If she’s too self-conscious naked, do it with some of her clothes on. It’s wildly sexy to push her skirt just high enough or fondle her breasts while she keeps her bra on.

So, where'd you meet?

Fantasy and reality don't always jibe when it comes to finding our one true love. A poll asked men and women what they consider the best ways to meet a mate. Then the poll asked couples how they actually met. The answers mostly coincide, especially in the top spot: meeting through friends. But the reality of other meeting places, notably work, isn't so romantic.