It may be easy for you to come up with a different fantasy for every day of the week, but she may be having more difficulty stocking up her erotic library. Dr Andrew Stanway, clinician and author of "The Joy of Sexual Fantasy", says that many people – especially women – experience guilt about their sexual fantasies.But that doesn’t mean they don’t have them; it just means that their imaginations sanitise and package them in a way that is more acceptable to them.
So what do high-guilt women fantasise about? Being dominated by a man who finds them irresistible, explains Stanway. Their fantasies tend to involve faceless lovers and are generally less vivid than women whose sex-guilt levels are lower.
Strategy
Let her read the sexual fantasies of other women. Try "What Turns Us On" by Iris and Steven Finz; "Women On Top by Nancy Friday" or "Sex Fantasies By Women For Women by" Lisa Sussman.
Reward
Fantasy is a great sex aid. Perhaps she imagines a good spanking or a threesome... whatever gets her going works towards her arousal during foreplay and penetration, explains Stanway.
Special tip
Nancy Friday, the author of a variety of books on fantasy – both male and female – advises against asking her directly whether she has fantasies, as all you’re likely to hear is “I don’t know” or “no”. Rather make a more general comment, such as: “Apparently women tend to fantasise that the men they’re having sex with are faceless.” Then ask whether she agrees with this. You’ve now opened up a discussion.
Strategy
Let her read the sexual fantasies of other women. Try "What Turns Us On" by Iris and Steven Finz; "Women On Top by Nancy Friday" or "Sex Fantasies By Women For Women by" Lisa Sussman.
Reward
Fantasy is a great sex aid. Perhaps she imagines a good spanking or a threesome... whatever gets her going works towards her arousal during foreplay and penetration, explains Stanway.
Special tip
Nancy Friday, the author of a variety of books on fantasy – both male and female – advises against asking her directly whether she has fantasies, as all you’re likely to hear is “I don’t know” or “no”. Rather make a more general comment, such as: “Apparently women tend to fantasise that the men they’re having sex with are faceless.” Then ask whether she agrees with this. You’ve now opened up a discussion.
