If you want your partner to change her behaviour, be clear and reasonable, not goofy or mushy. Researchers in New Zealand who videotaped 61 couples found that straightforward communication is more likely to lead to long-term results. A direct approach may seem to backfire at first, but works in the long run. Being indirect (using humour, for instance) can downplay your feelings. “Relying on the soft approach will leave your girlfriend unaware of the nature and severity of the problem,” says study author Dr Nickola Overall, of the University of Auckland.
