What you can do to change that
1...because I can't kiss properly
A well-meaning ex-girlfriend told you that in confidence recently. No reason to panic. Kissing can be learnt. Like this.
Solution:
Keep your tongue under control. Don't push your tongue too far into the lady's mouth. You don't want to make her feel nauseous. It's just as important to keep your movements moderate; most girls don't want a wriggling eel in their mouths. Swallow every so often; that prevents you from slobbering. Practise on the back of your own hand, when nobody's looking. Whatever feels pleasant there can be applied later without worrying.
2...because I'm still living at home
Admittedly, it's more practical. But for the fairer sex this causes alarm bells to start ringing. Because a man who is still living in mother's hotel is not an independent man.
Solution:
Move out. Otherwise you can guarantee your mother will remain the only woman in your life.
3...because I'm too shy
Feeling a bit like REM lead singer Michael Slipe when he sang 'That's me in the corner...'? Do you tend to fade into the background and never dare do anything? Stop it right now!
Solution:
"Eye contact is the most important thing," says Margit Steiner, director of a flirting school in Duesseldorf. This doesn't mean staring, but just keeping an eye on her and smiling occasionally. If she smiles back, then you're already halfway there.
And don't forget that the best opening gambits are banal. The deliberately cool one-liner approach - "Do you believe in love at first sight?" or "Shall I make my entrance again?" - might look amusing on paper, but in real life it's just embarrassing. Shy people should always stick to the tried and tested route: 'Is this seat free?', 'Haven't we met before?', 'Is this your first time here?' The sort of woman who then still sends you packing is not the right one for you anyway.
4...because I'm always the good friend
You only have platonic girlfriends with whom you sit chatting for hours over coffee. They come to you with problems they can't talk to their lovers about? That's great!
Solution:
What you need is patience. A girl's best friend is not the guy who takes her heart by storm, but the one who slides in through the back door. She thinks you're nice and as time goes by you get quite cosy with her. And when the knight in shining armour disappears over the horizon with his boorish behaviour, you're the one who is still there. The girl realises that it is you she loves with all her heart, and if she doesn't, then she's a stupid cow. If you don't believe us, just watch When Harry Met Sally again.
