Take her outdoor's

ON THE BEACH

You've both thought about it, so expectations are high. "Beaches connote both sex and romance," says Ellen Kate Friedrichs, of www.sexedvice.com. Bring up the idea early in a trip to heighten anticipation. And don't be impulsive - pick your spot carefully and bring a blanket. Wait until long after sunset, then get away from the ambient light of the boardwalk or pier. And stay clear of the dunes as you won't be able to hear an interloper until he or she is on top of you.

ON A CAMPING TRIP

Don't confine your primal urges to the tent (although a stealth shag in a campground with neighbours nearby is hot). On a hike, it's worth carrying the extra weight of blankets and a sleeping roll. Then get off the trail, find a sheltered spot and let it happen. In camp, you can turn your regular sleeping bags into a fun house for two - as long as one bag has a zip on the left and the other a zip on the right.

IN THE HOT TUB

It's simultaneously private and out in the open. And you can both be stark (or nearly) naked without feeling exposed, thanks to the churning water. Hot tubs are social, relaxing spaces, but they also represent sexiness. And she'll love those jets. We suggest a silicone-based lube for whatever you have in mind as her natural lubrication will wash away.

Build a human

If you want to get her pregnant, there's no time like the growing season. In a study, women who underwent in vitro fertilisation during the spring and summer months were twice as likely to fall pregnant as the autumn-and-winter group. The researchers believe that women in general may be more fertile in the summer because daylight suppresses production of melatonin, a hormone that can interfere with ovulation. Don't want a baby? You're a big boy now. March straight into that pharmacy and buy yourself a bumper pack of latex.

I got it for my mama

Gifts for your old lady

Women are tricky customers when it comes to the perfect Christmas present. And your mother – or worse, your mother-in-law – is no exception.

There’s a fine line between the message you give with a potpourri teabag for her cupboard and a stylish silk scarf. There’s also a big cost difference. You want something original that’s got the lasting factor once the wrapping’s been torn off – and the novelty’s gone – on Christmas day. Here are some ideas for differing tastes and price tags.

1. Green gifts
Without completely assuming that all mothers like to garden, most moms will appreciate something pretty and potted. Household herbs in little pots – like rosemary, parsley, basil and thyme – are a good choice. Flower seed packets are usually quite pretty and you can put a few together in a festive box. Choose according to the season. If she does have green fingers, think garden accessories too, like feminine gardening gloves or a gardening mat for her to kneel on while she weeds. You can work on a budget and all it takes is a trip to a nursery, so you’ll be avoiding the crowded malls.

2. Gold star gifts
At this time of year magazine subscription deals are everywhere. You can get your mom a subscription to her favourite glossy for a good deal, and probably score a free gift too. If she doesn’t have a preferred magazine, contact a local florist and find out whether they will arrange a contract with you to deliver flowers to your mom monthly or bimonthly. NetFlorist doesn’t just do flowers. You can sign up and specify what you want each month (nuts for March, tulips for May) and then pay in advance and forget about it. Both are gifts that will remind her every month when they arrive what a loving, thoughtful son you are. Can anyone say brownie points? www.netflorist.co.za

3. Gadget gifts
This category covers novelty gifts that she’ll use every day and that will, ideally, make her life easier. A good place to start is the kitchen. With the convenience of shopping online and free delivery, Yuppiechef has cool gadgets in a range of prices. Only got R100 to spend? Something like the Chef'n Fridge Fork for R69. It easily attaches to any size jar to take the hassle out of spearing pickles, olives, onions and other condiments from jars. www.yuppiechef.co.za

4. Goodwill gifts
Choose your mom’s favourite charity or a cause she cares about – like protecting and rehabilitating animals for example – and make a donation in her name. You could do something like adopting a penguin on www.sanccob.co.za. Depending on the cause, they’ll send her a letter of thanks or keep her updated on the charity.

5. Girlie gifts
While they fuss around everyone else, mothers generally put themselves last. A spa voucher is the gift answer. Most spas will have packages that will include a few things (like a manicure, pedicure and back massage). If you don’t want to choose a specific treatment or think she won’t appreciate the age-defying facial, just get a voucher for an amount and let her choose what she wants.

Picnic props

Make the most of lazy South African summer days. Here are the five must-haves for your summer picnic pack.

1. Multi-purpose knife
This is the moment to bring out your inner boy scout. Your set must have a sharp, functioning knife, corkscrew and bottle opener. Some of them come with all manner of utensils too. Avoid food that you need cutlery for and stick to finger snacks. Pocket knife R180. www.capeunionmart.co.za

2. The blanket
An essential at any picnic. Make sure it’s big enough for you and all the food. If all else fails, your sleeping bag is a good option as it’s soft with waterproofing on one side. Just make sure you’ve aired it since your last camping excursion, as it may be musty and unpleasant. Roll-up picnic mat R99. www.capeunionmart.co.za

3. Cutting board
You’re going to need something flat, whether it’s for cutting on, arranging food or simply resting your wine glass. Learn to build one yourself at www.doityourself.com

4. Plastic wine glasses
Nothing spoils the mood or cheapens the wine than having to drink out of an opaque tumbler that reminds you of a kiddies’ party. Glass is risky so get a good quality plastic wine-glass set. Wine glasses R12 each. www.wineglasses.co.za

5. Hand wipes
This is a must-have and will really score points with your lady. Not only are the wipes hygienic, but you can use them to wipe the knife before reusing it, mop plates and glasses before packing them away and clean your hands after the snacks. R6 from Clicks.

Listen, sexy

Beware of that sultry voice: a woman’s voice sounds sexier when she’s at her peak of fertility. When men listened to the voices of women at different points in their menstrual cycles, they rated the sound of women at peak fertility as most attractive. Hormones throughout the menstrual cycle change the quality of a woman’s voice, possibly by altering the pitch. Women are more receptive to sex at the same fertile point in their cycles. If she seems irresistible, make sure you have a condom. Or maybe it’s the perfect time for phone sex.

The bikini effect

The promise of sex can impair our judgement. New research reports that sexual urges make men crave quick rewards when they make decisions about money or food. In the study, men who were given lingerie to fondle or shown videos of women running in bikinis tended to be content with a small immediate monetary reward instead of a bigger one that involved waiting. They made similar decisions about chocolate and soft drinks. Sexual stimuli snap men’s minds into the present, researchers speculate, making fast rewards more appealing. Remember that on your next dinner date when the dessert cart rolls up.

Want to impress her?

Talk about your touch rugby league, not your marathon PR. Women are more attracted to team players than to men who prefer solo sports, according to a study in Evolutionary Psychology. When women viewed photos of men along with captions about the men’s athletic endeavours, they rated those who played team sports higher in both datability and sexual attractiveness. The reason? Women may associate team sports with celebrity, says study author Dr Albrecht Schulte- Hostedde. They may also prefer socially dominant men – the type often seen playing team sports.