Sex in a dark lounge

Strategy
A digital lap dance

Why it works
The music, the beer, the risk

Special equipment
A skirt

A shadowy corner of a swank lounge is the grown-up version of a dark garden during high school. Here's one place where making out in public is condoned, if not encouraged. Kiss her neck, nibble her ear and engage in deep, wet kisses while stroking her lower back and sliding your hands through her hair.

Invite her to sit on your lap sideways with her legs crossed. Slide your hand under her butt and between her thighs. It's a tight fit, but apply slow, pulsing pressure to her clitoris or just above to get the blood fl owing. Achieving orgasm is a long shot, but being touched intimately in a crowded bar, with music blasting, a cold beer in hand and your warm breath on the back of her neck, is a thrill that lasts - and will continue at home.

Sex on an uncrowded plane

Strategy
The stealth reach-around

Why it works
It's how she does it

Special equipment
A blanket

Please forget the mile-high club. A jet's bathroom is dirty, cramped and smelly. Much sexier - and easier to talk her into - is the high-altitude hand job, assuming you have a row to yourself. Raise the armrest and drape the blanket over the two of you. Wait for the lights to go down and the movie to start.

Have her lean back into the crook of your shoulder. She'll "read a magazine" as you slip your arm around her waist, under the blanket and between her legs. An over-the-clothes rub is a vintage sensation that's worked since she became aware of boys. Rest your fingertips on top of her pubic mound. Exert medium pressure with all four fingers, alternately rubbing up and down over her clitoris and massaging with slow, circular motions. Many women masturbate in exactly this fashion, so there's a good chance she'll achieve maximum altitude, and then return the favour.

Your touch

How’s this for improving your odds? Women in nightclubs are 50 percent more likely to accept a dance invitation if it’s paired with gentle contact, according to a studies. Discreet touching signals the first stages of the mating ritual. Done correctly, this powerful process will lead – eventually – to sex.

Forgive and forget

Forgiving a partner's indiscretions can reduce depression. According to researchers; over 2000 adults were asked if they’d forgive certain behaviour. Seems men are already happily giving the blues the brush off.

Her orgasms

A woman is far less likely to reach orgasm during a onenight stand than with a longterm partner. And her frequency of orgasm is at its highest in the second year of a relationship

Jumpstart your sex life

We have 32 ideas to launch a voyage of sexual discovery unlike anything you’ve seen... at least since Miranda let down her guard during your Matric year. The difference now: you know what you’re doing, and you have a partner who deserves your respect, attention and devotion. So make the most of it.

1. Start the action anywhere but the bedroom
The same old place is too conducive to the same old patterns, says Dr Stella Resnick, author of The Pleasure Zone. Explore some new erogenous areas: the kitchen. The bathroom. Umhlanga Rocks. Your bodies will be in new places, making it less likely that you'll follow old routines.

2. Compliment her
And keep doing it... at least five times a day. It’ll make her feel noticed, special and appreciated. And she’ll feel closer to you. “The more connected she feels, the more sexually inspired she’ll feel,” says Dr Laura Berman, director of the Berman Centre in Chicago. Compliment what she feels good about and cares about - her hair, shoes, singing voice, work triumphs - says Dr Gloria Brame, a sex therapist and the author of Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex. A confident sex partner is an adventurous sex partner.

3. Go canoeing or hiking
Add a distinct but manageable touch of danger to the day. It will stimulate dopamine in her brain, which may trigger her sex drive, says Dr Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and the author of Why We Love. Pick the right trip - a guided white-water excursion, for example - and learn about the risks and the precautions you should take. She’ll see you as both the cause of the excitement and the source of security. Book the right B&B for the afternoon dry-off and you’re set.

4. Watch porn with the sound off...
Sure, you’ll miss the snappy plumber-housewife banter. But now you two can provide the dialogue. You’ll learn how to talk erotically, so it’s educational. But it’s also fun, you’re both invested in it and it can help reveal fantasies, says Dr Ava Cadell, a sex therapist and the author of Love Around the House. And you’ll probably find a way to kill time during the sex scenes.

5. ...or see a chick flick
Maybe porn isn’t her thing. But Pitt, Clooney or McConaughey might be and for her, these guys are porn, Brame says. She’ll be fantasising about a man who’s sweet and will treat her well. And when he kisses the flirty female lead, you kiss your lady at the same time. Show her that reality - her life - can be better than that.

To your turn your flame into an inferno go to the Men's Health website for the rest of these sexy tips at www.menshealthsa.co.za

Get sweaty together

Pumping up the passion at the beginning of the week sets the tone for days to come. Go to the gym together. Studies show both sexes experience a surge of libido-boosting testosterone 30 minutes after a workout. Shower then hit the bedroom. It’ll zap stress and the sexual momentum will last for the weekend.