Should you be taking sex advice from a celibate first-century bookworm? Yes, actually – and it’s easier than ever with two new versions of the Kama Sutra, the original sex manual
The Clinging CreeperMan-on-top positions in the Kama Sutra often feature the woman on her back with her feet on her lover’s chest or shoulders. Although these positions are highly erotic, they mean that you can’t get really close to each other: The Clinging Creeper (or Twining Position), in contrast, permits maximum skin-to-skin contact. He lies in-between her legs and she hooks her leg around the top of his thighs to pull him in more closely.
TAKEN FROM KAMA SUTRA, BY ANNE HOOPER
Splitting the Bamboo, The Bull’s Blow...
If you’ve ever stolen a glance at Vatsyayana’s Kama Sutra down at your book shop, you’ll have noted terms reminiscent of torture methods. And pictures that make it look like you need an extremely long penis and an elasticated spine. It describes 64 positions – the frustrated Indian believed there were eight ways of making love, multiplied by eight positions within each of these. For English speakers though, the 64 sets of instructions were tricky to follow, written as they were in dodgy Victorian parlance, translated by Sir Richard Burton. But now there’s Deepak Chopra’s new abridged Kama Sutra and Alain Danielou’s modern unabridged interpretation to help you cut to the chase and spice up your bedroom moves.
WHICH VERSION – CHOPRA OR DANIELOU?Danielou fi rst. He provides a remarkably fluent translation of the entire Sanskrit original, ridding it of all that uptight Victorian
morality and bringing alive the other, less famous aspect of the book; it’s easy to forget that the Kama Sutra is also a delicate labyrinth of sexual etiquette, from how to bathe before meeting a lover to how lovers should entertain each other after making love. It’s not illustrated, though, and you’ll definitely miss the pictures. Chopra’s shorter book is illustrated with modern paintings and is perfect for people with twenty-first century ADHD-attention spans. It’s presented in bite-sized pieces – you could produce dozens of feel-good “quotes of the day” from this book.
GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESSSo, books in hand, it was time to test the new easy-read instructions. Where to start? A bath is a good place to think and, as it’s also part of the Kama Sutra foreplay, my willing partner and I shared a bubble bath and decided that we’d each choose three positions that caught our fancy. We’d each have the right to veto one position chosen by the other. Doing the maths – if we both used our vetoes, that would give us four positions to try. If one vetoed, there’d be five positions and if neither vetoed, it would be six.
Climbing the TreeThis is a great position for quickie sex. If she’s shorter than him, she can always stand on tiptoes or on a step.
TAKEN FROM KAMA SUTRA, BY ANNE HOOPER
My decision-making was quick – I wanted gentle, playful poses and so I chose one sitting position… If, sitting facing her, you grasp her ankles and fasten them like a chain behind your neck, and she grips her toes as you make love, it is the delightful Padma (the Lotus)
And one lying position… Her limbs, entwined in yours like tendrils of fragrant jasmine creeper, draw taut and slowly relax in the gentle rhythm of lingam and yoni: this is Lataveshta (the Clinging Creeper)
And one standing position…She stands against the wall, lotushands on hips, long, lovely fingers reaching to her navel. Cup her foot in your palm and let your free hand caress your angel’s limbs. Put your arm around her neck and enjoy her as she leans there at her ease. Vatsyayana and others who knew the art of love in its great days called this posture Tala (the Palm).
My man wanted to go on and try the advanced version…If you lean back to a wall and your lover, clinging to your neck, places both her feet in your palms and thus makes love, this is Dvitala (Two Palms). It really doesn’t work with tall girls – you have to be much shorter than your partner. He had more difficulty deciding on positions and his choices were more athletically challenging than mine. His first selection was the Elephant and there was some discussion as to whether this was on position or three… When your mistress lays breasts, arms and forehead to the carpet, raising her buttocks high, and you guide your penis into her yoni, it is Aibha (the Elephant). You lift her ankles high; she draws up and extends her legs as though she were crawling through the air: this is Hastika (the Elephant). Lying on her side, facing away, the fawn-eyed girl offers you her buttocks and your penis penetrates the house of love: this is Nagabandha (the Elephant).
Then I looked at his other potential choices. If you lift your lover by passing your elbows under her knees and gripping her buttocks while she hangs fearfully from your neck, it is Janukurpara (the Knee Elbow).
I regarded that one very fearfully. But I used my veto on this one…If, seated face to face, your toes caress the lovely woman’s nipples her feet press your chest and you make love holding each other’s hands it is Kaurma (the Tortoise). I don’t know what he was thinking! He has a decent South African boep and the Tortoise would have been tortuous for both of us.
Although I liked the idea of the following one, I couldn’t quite see it being successful… When the woman sits in her lover’s cradled hands, her arms around his neck, thighs gripping his waist, her feet pushing back and forth against a wall, it is
Avalambitaka (Suspended). And I had already applied my veto. So he graciously decided that The Elephant was three separate positions and those would be his choices.
FRESHLY BATHED, WARMED AND SCENTED,we began by climbing a tree – one of the 12 embraces of the Kama Sutra: When a woman, having placed one of her feet on the foot of her lover, and the other on one of his thighs, passes one of her arms round his back, and the other on his shoulders, makes slightly the sounds of singing and cooing, and wishes, as it were, to climb up to him in order to have a kiss, it is called an embrace like the climbing of a tree. I had my kiss and a whole lot more besides. There was plenty of indulgent R and R time too, so it was almost dawn the following day before the satisfactory completion of the final Elephant exercise. Those ancient ladies took real exercise. Hastika’s a workout for everything from abs to labia; it’s not for shrinking violets.
HE CAME, HE SAWWe called room service for breakfast while I scribbled notes about historical and anthropological insights into our own culture and human sexuality in general, holding a cup of desperately-needed coffee in the other hand. Suddenly he asked if he could replace the vetoed Tortoise with another choice. Only half-listening, I agreed and continued scrawling, until he whisked the pen right out of my hand and used it to underline his final choice – the Swing. Sitting face to face in bed, her breasts pressed tight against your chest, let each of you lock heels behind the other’s waist, and lean back clasping one another’s wrists. Now, set the swing gently in motion, your beloved clinging to your body with her flawless limbs, cooing and moaning with pleasure: this is Dolita (the Swing). How had I missed that one? “When’s checkout time?” I asked him. “We’ve still got a couple of hours,” he responded.
The SwingShe straddles him and wraps her legs tightly around his torso. Then you push, pull and rock against each other.
TAKEN FROM KAMA SUTRA, BY ANNE HOOPER
ACING THE SWINGThe Swing was a sleeper hit.It’s ideal for those (admittedly rare) occasions without time limits, and without anyone else in earshot. The focus is on slow communion and the tandem rocking motion achieves momentum with some spontaneously spectacular results. From the guy’s point of view, his partner is intimately and delectably open to him and if he’s willing to ensure that “the jewel of her clitoris is well-polished”… well, just be warned that she might come like a sweating, screaming inferno. This position is pretty much guaranteed to erupt into a Richter scale orgasm for him too. Positioning for the Swing isn’t complicated, but a guy needs full command of his sexual muscles, his breathing and his stamina. Seismic pressure builds up gradually – those ancient men really understood that sex is a pleasure-activity, even for goaloriented males. Slowly is how to get the most out of the incremental sensations. This is one time when a guy doesn’t just go with involuntary muscle contractions that squeeze some extreme feelings through his loins, leaving him drained. Instead, he hovers in that wethot zone on the verge, and increasingly floods his whole body with the intense pleasure that’s often awarded only to his penis as first prize. (Note to guys: it’s incredibly erotic for his partner that he knows how to sustain the desire and energy moving in his own body). The Swing swung into some shattering orgasms and, my partner and I had deemed that the practical part of the book review would be successful if we each had at least one, preferably many, orgasms. It didn’t happen every time but the sex was so connected and delicious that the absence of an orgasm was barely noticed. Granted, seven consecutive penetrative encounters is probably sexual overload; nevertheless it really did seem that the focus of our desires had shifted and individual lust-energy was transformed into something more bonding and spiritual.
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BONDINGPossibly this is the magic of the Kama Sutra for us today. It leads to an understanding of how male sexuality is intricately linked with female sexuality – if you constrain one, you constrain the other. When you expand the parameters of your own sensuality, you take it into another realm and you do the same thing for the woman you love.
Kama Sutra: Including the Seven Spiritual Laws of Love Deepak Chopra
www.kalahari.net
The Complete Kama Sutra translated by Alain Danielou
www.exclusivebooks.com
