Know what she is thinking

Hands up if you think you’re good in bed. That’s wonderful. But can you make a girl come without taking your trousers off while telling her how hot she is? It’s a skill womankind will thank you for – over and over again. “Fingering” isn’t the nicest word in the sex dictionary, but to be good at it shows a woman you’re a master of the carnal arts. All you need is a pair of hands and to know when – and how – to deploy them.


YOU’RE KISSING, BUT SOMEHOW SHE DOESN’T SEEM TO BE INTO IT

SHE'S THINKING
This a bit same-old, same old. It’s a shame he can’t shake it up a little. Where you put your hands during a kiss can make or break the experience for her. Sometimes it’s not your mouth or tongue that send quivers down her spine, but the location of your hands. So try sliding your hand up and down the sides of her upper body.

You're in her

YOU’RE THRUSTING YOUR FINGERS AS DEEP INSIDE HER AS YOU CAN

SHE'S THINKING
I can’t feel that. How many times have you been told not to play in the deep end? Only the outer third of the vagina has many nerve endings; deeper inside there’s virtually no sensation at all, so all your efforts to go deeper won’t have much effect. You can, however, try to stimulate her G-spot, a bundle of nerves about four centimetres up the front wall of her vagina. It doesn’t do it for all women, but try rubbing your finger over the area or pressing down on it gently. And don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t have the desired effect of helping her orgasm – instead, focus your attention on the first two centimetres of her vaginal canal, where she has more sensation.

You're playing with her

YOU’RE HAPPILY PLAYING WITH HER MAGIC BUTTON

SHE'S THINKING
Fill me up. It’s all too easy to focus on the clitoris and forget to pleasure her elsewhere. So while you’re flicking her joy switch, use your other hand to stimulate her vaginal lips and vaginal canal. Slide your middle finger gently inside her as you use your other fingers on her clitoris, or use your thumb if it’s easier. Use the same rhythm on her clitoris that you use inside her and make sure that you give her lips and outer third of her vaginal canal lots of exciting stimulation.

Say the right thing

Any man can comfort a woman when she’s having a rough time. But new research shows that it’s how you react to the good news in her life that truly reveals the strength of a relationship. Reacting positively – even if you’re jealous or have misgivings – shows how well you understand your partner, says Dr Shelly Gable, a psychologist at the University of California at Santa Barbara. Researchers videotaped couples sharing good and bad news. Those who reacted well to good news were more likely to still be together two months later. If you’re not thrilled with her new promotion, with its longer hours and travel, focus on what you are happy about and tell her you’re proud of her, Gable says. Wait until later to bring up your reservations.

Caught on the net

Internet flirtations drain blood from the brains of sensible men. Men are more likely to be scammed on the Internet, says British researchers. They’re also more likely to receive spam, viruses and pop-up ads. One possible reason: men browse more porn online.

You need a wingwoman

Psychologists have proven that you’ll look better to women if you have a female looking at you. In a study, women rated photos of male faces – when the guy was alone, and then with a woman looking at him. Seeing other women smile at men increased women’s preferences for those men. On the flip side, male opinions of other men dropped if women were smiling at the men. So make ’em smile: There’s an advantage to being nice to people when you’re at a bar or club.

Kama positions to try

1. THE DOWNWARD DOG
The purpose
Good for deeper thrusts.

How it works
She's facedown on the bed, hips raised.

The benefit
This position creates a snug fit, but don't be a battering ram. "Move your hips from side to side, too," says sex therapist Dr Diana Wiley.


2. THE FACE-OFF
The purpose
Makes height differences disappear.

How it works
You sit on a chair, she faces you on your lap.

The benefit
Greater flexibility. "She can easily control the angle and depth of entry," says Wiley, and you can learn what sort of rhythm she likes.


3. THE PRETZEL
The purpose
Blends the doggy and missionary styles.

How it works
She lies on her left side. You kneel between her legs, curling her right leg around your right side and straddling her left leg.

The benefit
Deep penetration with face-to-face contact.


4. THE SHOULDER HOLDER
The purpose
Targets her G-spot, makes you feel bigger.

How it works
She rests both legs on one of your shoulders.

The benefit
"Any position in which a woman raises her legs narrows the vagina," says Rebecca Rosenblat, author of Seducing Your Man.


5. THE COWGIRL'S HELPER
The purpose
Puts her in control. You can lend a hand.

How it works
She squats on top, raising and lowering herself with her thighs. You support her by holding her hips and rising to meet each thrust.

The benefit
She'll appreciate your ceding the sexual remote.